Friday, December 29, 2006
Paying it forward
So last night I was in New York City with Shawn (guy from Google who also happens to be on vacation on the east coast) and his friend Josh. Anyway, after a long hard night of trying to keep up with New York and their late bar-closing times (4am!)...we decided to grab some cheap Mexican food. So this was 3 in the morning and we were all at least a bit drunk. The chick working the counter was super nice...even at 3 in the morning. She was so extremely pleasant to every person in the store that we were kinda taken aback. Shawn then told us a story about how when he worked at Dominos this guy once told him that his nice attitude once made his night and that, in turn, made Shawn's life. Shawn wanted to do the same for this woman. Only he expressed it a little differently. He took a $100 bill out of his wallet and looked at it for a little while. He dropped it in their tip jar and we left. I hope they were pleasantly surprised!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Dream that caused me to be late for work
I had a really crazy dream last night.
The first part I remember is that I was supposed to be getting married to Nik. I was thinking about calling it off because I didn't think it was right to be getting married. Then I saw there was a timer in this room I was in that displayed how long it was til I was supposed to get married - 12 hours. I kinda freaked out and I called Nik on the phone to tell him and I think he knew it was coming. He was mad at me and put me on speakerphone so everyone (his family, including his mom) could hear what I had to say.
The next part of my dream I remember was Steve dropping me off at my house. My Korean grandmother was there for some reason. Steve walked out of my house and she watched him leave because she was very concerned about some Korean thing. Basically, there were a lot of clouds in the sky (which was no good) but she realized Steve would be fine when a balloon floated up into the sky and spread the clouds a little.
The next thing I remember is being home and being forced to take my brother shoe shopping. I was waiting in the car (which was a minivan) and I think i was watching an infomercial...anyway my mom drove by in a truck and I was really unhappy about having to take Michael shoe shopping.
The last thing I remember was that I was hanging out with Steve, this girl Hannah from middle school, and some other guy. We were talking about what we were going to do that night and I was laying on the floor and Steve was laying on the couch above me. Hannah whispers to me that whatever we do we can go cheat on our boyfriends. And I am shocked and tell her I wouldn't do that. Then I look at Steve and get upset and say "I can't anyway...because I don't have a boyfriend"
Weird.
The first part I remember is that I was supposed to be getting married to Nik. I was thinking about calling it off because I didn't think it was right to be getting married. Then I saw there was a timer in this room I was in that displayed how long it was til I was supposed to get married - 12 hours. I kinda freaked out and I called Nik on the phone to tell him and I think he knew it was coming. He was mad at me and put me on speakerphone so everyone (his family, including his mom) could hear what I had to say.
The next part of my dream I remember was Steve dropping me off at my house. My Korean grandmother was there for some reason. Steve walked out of my house and she watched him leave because she was very concerned about some Korean thing. Basically, there were a lot of clouds in the sky (which was no good) but she realized Steve would be fine when a balloon floated up into the sky and spread the clouds a little.
The next thing I remember is being home and being forced to take my brother shoe shopping. I was waiting in the car (which was a minivan) and I think i was watching an infomercial...anyway my mom drove by in a truck and I was really unhappy about having to take Michael shoe shopping.
The last thing I remember was that I was hanging out with Steve, this girl Hannah from middle school, and some other guy. We were talking about what we were going to do that night and I was laying on the floor and Steve was laying on the couch above me. Hannah whispers to me that whatever we do we can go cheat on our boyfriends. And I am shocked and tell her I wouldn't do that. Then I look at Steve and get upset and say "I can't anyway...because I don't have a boyfriend"
Weird.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Ooooh Google
me appreciate where I work. But at the same time I wonder why this
person didn't put away their big red ball when they were done playing
Izzle
So I got an email in a mailing list that read "Happy Fridizzle, my nizzles!" I turn to my friend Sasha and we have a short conversation that goes a little like this:
Me: What's a nizzle?
Sasha: What?
Me: A nizzle
Sasha: In what context?
Me: As in 'Happy Fridizzle, my nizzles' - it's in an email
Sasha: What? Let me see [walks over]
Sasha: Oh, I think that's like 'homies'
Me: But aren't you supposed to add the suffix -izzle to words that already exist?
Sasha: Yeah...
Me: So what word is that?
Sasha: [whispering] I think it's the n-word
Me: oh.
Sasha: You're so innocent.
Me: What's a nizzle?
Sasha: What?
Me: A nizzle
Sasha: In what context?
Me: As in 'Happy Fridizzle, my nizzles' - it's in an email
Sasha: What? Let me see [walks over]
Sasha: Oh, I think that's like 'homies'
Me: But aren't you supposed to add the suffix -izzle to words that already exist?
Sasha: Yeah...
Me: So what word is that?
Sasha: [whispering] I think it's the n-word
Me: oh.
Sasha: You're so innocent.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Perception and decision making
This is going to be a fairly crude assessment of things (at least academically)...
Rational decision making consists mainly of a few things
1) Perceived risk
2) Perceived benefit
3) Assessed likelihood of various outcomes
Of course there is a LOT more involved than that, but those are the basics. Which is the problem with rational decision making. There's emotion (i.e. fear) that could skew, either positively or negatively, one's view of decision at hand. And yes, there are times when emotion actually leads us to make better decisions than cognition alone, but I'm not getting into that here. There are general biases that most everyone face, my favorite being regret theory. Regret theory is the idea that the regret one might feel by making a decision that results in a negative outcome can have a very strong impact on that decision.
So, it is actually impossible (I think) to assess every aspect of a decision. It's kinda like the idea of traveling back in time and changing something that might set off a chain reaction that changes history; see this Simpsons clip for further info. It's hard to take into account the affect one small decision might have on other aspects of your life that you might never have thought of. In high school when I found myself daydreaming I would catch myself, note whatever it was I was thinking about, and try to trace it back to whatever triggered that thought - just for the fun of it. For example, let's say I found myself imagining various ice cream flavors Ben and Jerry's should try, which was a result of me thinking about weird food combinations, which was a result of me thinking about a sign I saw at 7-11 for slurpee flavor combos, which was a result of me thinking about how I lost my 7-11 receipt, which was a result of the teacher talking about the importance of keeping receipts for tax purposes. From the topic of taxes to Ben and Jerry's...well I don't know where I was going with this. Perhaps I'm trying to say everything is/can be related to everything else. Which is why I believe that it is impossible to assess every aspect of a decision before making it.
Basically, we can't tell the future and what the results of a decision will be. So we have to make decisions based on how likely we perceive various outcomes to be. I'd like to note that i said "perceived" likelihood. Naturally, humans are extremely biased creatures. So, for example some people think that using significant lottery numbers, like birthdays or anniversaries, make them luckier. If you're reading this you no doubt understand that that's not true. However, those people *perceive* their potential outcome to be of greater likelihood, and there's little you could do to convince them otherwise.
Why am I talking about this? To remind myself to be rational and that my perception of the state of things differs greatly from others.
Rational decision making consists mainly of a few things
1) Perceived risk
2) Perceived benefit
3) Assessed likelihood of various outcomes
Of course there is a LOT more involved than that, but those are the basics. Which is the problem with rational decision making. There's emotion (i.e. fear) that could skew, either positively or negatively, one's view of decision at hand. And yes, there are times when emotion actually leads us to make better decisions than cognition alone, but I'm not getting into that here. There are general biases that most everyone face, my favorite being regret theory. Regret theory is the idea that the regret one might feel by making a decision that results in a negative outcome can have a very strong impact on that decision.
So, it is actually impossible (I think) to assess every aspect of a decision. It's kinda like the idea of traveling back in time and changing something that might set off a chain reaction that changes history; see this Simpsons clip for further info. It's hard to take into account the affect one small decision might have on other aspects of your life that you might never have thought of. In high school when I found myself daydreaming I would catch myself, note whatever it was I was thinking about, and try to trace it back to whatever triggered that thought - just for the fun of it. For example, let's say I found myself imagining various ice cream flavors Ben and Jerry's should try, which was a result of me thinking about weird food combinations, which was a result of me thinking about a sign I saw at 7-11 for slurpee flavor combos, which was a result of me thinking about how I lost my 7-11 receipt, which was a result of the teacher talking about the importance of keeping receipts for tax purposes. From the topic of taxes to Ben and Jerry's...well I don't know where I was going with this. Perhaps I'm trying to say everything is/can be related to everything else. Which is why I believe that it is impossible to assess every aspect of a decision before making it.
Basically, we can't tell the future and what the results of a decision will be. So we have to make decisions based on how likely we perceive various outcomes to be. I'd like to note that i said "perceived" likelihood. Naturally, humans are extremely biased creatures. So, for example some people think that using significant lottery numbers, like birthdays or anniversaries, make them luckier. If you're reading this you no doubt understand that that's not true. However, those people *perceive* their potential outcome to be of greater likelihood, and there's little you could do to convince them otherwise.
Why am I talking about this? To remind myself to be rational and that my perception of the state of things differs greatly from others.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I <3 Firefox 2.0
Here are my reasons for loving FF 2.0. I'm very dedicated to explaining this to you, so read the whole thing and if you learn something new I think it will improve your life - no joke.
1. More streamlined RSS feedreading experience.
Have you ever wanted to add an RSS feed to your Google Personalized homepage? (In case you don't know, an RSS feed allows you to be able to go somewhere like Personalized homepage and see updates to a blog or news site without visiting that site and checking - huge time saver on the stalker front). Anyway, before it was a long and complicated process that required you to somehow figure out the feed address...basically it was a lot more difficult than it should be. But now with FF 2.0 , you can just click on the feed button in the URL bar...
then you get this and you want to choose Google Reader. I guess you can choose the other ones, but I don't see why you'd want to. :)
Then you get another page, click Add to Personalized Homepage and it appears on Google!
You guys are on my Google Personalized Homepage...so everytime I open my browser I get to stalk you and see if you'd made any updates. Except it's like passive stalking since Google just gives me the info without having to check your blog everyday.
If you're not familiar with Google Personalized Homepage, I don't think I could live without it honestly. It's how I get news, keep up on you guys, and read other blogs as well. It has a bunch of other tools and fun stuff in the directory (labeled "Add stuff"). Check it out if you haven't already.
Back to Firefox...
2. Search query suggestions
Firefox has always had a Google search bar but now it offers query suggestions as I type! Sometimes this is useless, sometimes it's amazing because it prevents me from typing a long query, and sometimes it helps me remember what I'm searching for.
Let's say I'm searching for the Tenacious D movie but I don't remember what it's called (oh no!) All I do is type is whatever I can remember (in this case "Tenacious D and" something). FF offers me suggestions! Woot.
3. General amazingness by saving me time and frustration
Firefox just crashed (which I actually think was Blogger's fault and not FF's) while I was trying to upload these example photos. Yeah, tragedy...but wait! When I opened firefox it asked me if I wanted to restore my session. I did and this whole post was waiting for me even though I hadn't saved it. Thank goodness. You wouldn't have gotten this valuable information if Firefox hadn't been so amazing.
1. More streamlined RSS feedreading experience.
Have you ever wanted to add an RSS feed to your Google Personalized homepage? (In case you don't know, an RSS feed allows you to be able to go somewhere like Personalized homepage and see updates to a blog or news site without visiting that site and checking - huge time saver on the stalker front). Anyway, before it was a long and complicated process that required you to somehow figure out the feed address...basically it was a lot more difficult than it should be. But now with FF 2.0 , you can just click on the feed button in the URL bar...
then you get this and you want to choose Google Reader. I guess you can choose the other ones, but I don't see why you'd want to. :)
Then you get another page, click Add to Personalized Homepage and it appears on Google!
You guys are on my Google Personalized Homepage...so everytime I open my browser I get to stalk you and see if you'd made any updates. Except it's like passive stalking since Google just gives me the info without having to check your blog everyday.
If you're not familiar with Google Personalized Homepage, I don't think I could live without it honestly. It's how I get news, keep up on you guys, and read other blogs as well. It has a bunch of other tools and fun stuff in the directory (labeled "Add stuff"). Check it out if you haven't already.
Back to Firefox...
2. Search query suggestions
Firefox has always had a Google search bar but now it offers query suggestions as I type! Sometimes this is useless, sometimes it's amazing because it prevents me from typing a long query, and sometimes it helps me remember what I'm searching for.
Let's say I'm searching for the Tenacious D movie but I don't remember what it's called (oh no!) All I do is type is whatever I can remember (in this case "Tenacious D and" something). FF offers me suggestions! Woot.
3. General amazingness by saving me time and frustration
Firefox just crashed (which I actually think was Blogger's fault and not FF's) while I was trying to upload these example photos. Yeah, tragedy...but wait! When I opened firefox it asked me if I wanted to restore my session. I did and this whole post was waiting for me even though I hadn't saved it. Thank goodness. You wouldn't have gotten this valuable information if Firefox hadn't been so amazing.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Feel like writing
I'm writing my Christmas cards...and it's hard to decide who to send them to. I've got my family and Tridelt so far. Hm. I want to send one to you, but I don't have your address. Please give it to me. :) I was thinking of sending cards to Steve's parents...but I don't know his Dad's address. And it's not fair to only send a card to his mom. I also don't know how to address it. Ugh, complications. I also don't want her to think I'm a freak for sending her a card. I also don't know if I should write Merry Christmas. Steve pretty much called me lame when I said happy holidays or something...but perhaps his mom is more sensitive. How am I supposed to know these things? I think I know the answers but I'll ask him just in case.
So the holiday party was fun. I wish I had taken pictures so I could show you the craziness.
Caryl - if you're reading this, what the heck? Do you have a blog anymore? If so, why was I not notified?
So the holiday party was fun. I wish I had taken pictures so I could show you the craziness.
Caryl - if you're reading this, what the heck? Do you have a blog anymore? If so, why was I not notified?
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Rose
Today while sitting and reading email I made a silly putty rose. Here
it is if you're interested. :)
By the way, yes, I know I'm lame.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
My roommates and I took a seduction quiz...
So the roomies and I have been talking about layable vs. not layable and our seduction styles. Seduction styles came about as a result of the book The Art of Seduction. Allie Lin first introduced me to this book and I passed its wisdom onto Leah. Anyway, I think the book is a lot wiser than this flash quiz (I do hate the loading times) but here's what I got.
Friday, November 24, 2006
My first-ish house
This is 2400 University Place in Cheney, WA. It was where I played when
I was a wee one after my parents moved out of married student housing at
Eastern Washington University.
Nice view from a not so nice place
This is the view of Spokane from my Grandpa's hospital room. He's doing
ok.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
dress help!
I'm looking for a dress to wear to the company holiday party. I tried a
few on and here were my two favorite. Any strong feelings?
--wants to dress to impress
Edit: So I've decided against either of these dresses. I'll wear a little black dress and spend my money on accessories.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Heard in MV
So hopefully this will just be a placeholder for a more comprehensive
entry with charts and other comparative evidence between Mountain View
anf Pittsburgh. Anyway, walking back from lunch today I overheard a
conversation during which the following was said: "I just don't
appreciate the inconsistency of the temperature here." Now, to make sure
I wasn't crazy I checked out good ol' weather.com. For the past week,
the temperature has been between 60 and 64 degrees. The november
monthly average is 64 degrees. Upon closer inspection, looking at day
by day averages for this month for many years past, the temperature has
been between 60 and 64 degrees. Hm.
--in bed and still pondering this incident 12 hours later
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Yet another airplane blog entry. Looking out my window, it's like this plane is chasing the sunset.
I had a good trip. I spent Wednesday to today (Sunday) in Pittsburgh for a recruiting trip. I've been dying to go recruit since I got my job. It's kinda like when I would recruit for incoming students, SEO, or anything - I just enjoy sharing my wonderful life with others. That sounds kinda bad. I don't mean that the way it sounds. I just want everyone to be happy.
When I wasn't working, I got to spend time with Steve and sisters. I always love going home (hm! I used the word home to describe tridelt) to my girls. I only wish that my older girls (that's you, if you're reading this and wondering) were there too. I got to meet a bunch of the newbies who are initiating next week, yay! They're super sweet and I was so thrilled to meet them. I also went to the football team's last game of their undefeated season...but I was busy watching the tridelt cheerleaders and making Leah, Sturges, and Rachelle do kicks and stuff by shouting at them. I was telling Andrea that I thought it must be sad to be a CMU cheerleader because you stand there the entire game cheering and saying stuff like "get pumped up" and "make some noise" and no one does. So, in an attempt to be encouraging, whenever any of the tridelts would say such things I would cheer. Apparently this riled up some other fans, so it was doubley effective. woo. Anyway, the girls were all super cute and Andrea and I were like proud moms watching them.
Andrea, Lacey, and I went to dinner at Union Grill last night. It was delish. I then ran into a million people I knew at this party we went to afterwards.
So the question of the weekend was "what's up with you and Steve?" For me, same as always - staying strong and waiting, but with somewhat more hope. I suppose this, like everything, is a learning experience. I still have a lot to work on. While my transition may have been out of necessity, the point is it happened and it's somewhat positive. But I still have a lot of questions I can't ask, requests I can't make, and things I can't say. That's just the way it is for now.
I had a good trip. I spent Wednesday to today (Sunday) in Pittsburgh for a recruiting trip. I've been dying to go recruit since I got my job. It's kinda like when I would recruit for incoming students, SEO, or anything - I just enjoy sharing my wonderful life with others. That sounds kinda bad. I don't mean that the way it sounds. I just want everyone to be happy.
When I wasn't working, I got to spend time with Steve and sisters. I always love going home (hm! I used the word home to describe tridelt) to my girls. I only wish that my older girls (that's you, if you're reading this and wondering) were there too. I got to meet a bunch of the newbies who are initiating next week, yay! They're super sweet and I was so thrilled to meet them. I also went to the football team's last game of their undefeated season...but I was busy watching the tridelt cheerleaders and making Leah, Sturges, and Rachelle do kicks and stuff by shouting at them. I was telling Andrea that I thought it must be sad to be a CMU cheerleader because you stand there the entire game cheering and saying stuff like "get pumped up" and "make some noise" and no one does. So, in an attempt to be encouraging, whenever any of the tridelts would say such things I would cheer. Apparently this riled up some other fans, so it was doubley effective. woo. Anyway, the girls were all super cute and Andrea and I were like proud moms watching them.
Andrea, Lacey, and I went to dinner at Union Grill last night. It was delish. I then ran into a million people I knew at this party we went to afterwards.
So the question of the weekend was "what's up with you and Steve?" For me, same as always - staying strong and waiting, but with somewhat more hope. I suppose this, like everything, is a learning experience. I still have a lot to work on. While my transition may have been out of necessity, the point is it happened and it's somewhat positive. But I still have a lot of questions I can't ask, requests I can't make, and things I can't say. That's just the way it is for now.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Waiting for the shuttle
So here I am waiting for the shuttle. I'm usually not even awake at
8:00 in the morning. Dammit. I prob missed the shuttle I needed to
catch. I don't want to drive all the way into the city during rush
hour. Hmmm. We'l have to see how it goes
--sleepy and cold
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
First mobile post
I've decided this is my new thing. Running around and blogging from
where ever and taking photos on location (courtesy of go.blogger.com).
Here's me in bed with my laptop. Obviously I'm not going for efficiency
since my laptop is next to me. It'll get more interesting soon, I
hope.
I hate thinking I see a flashing window out of the corner of my eye.
--in bed
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Greys and I are done
Greys makes me too sad. I look forward to it all week...and it just gets me down again. Good thing I'm happy now.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
You know what's good about being single?
Being single means I can:
Not shave my legs
Eat as much garlic as I want
Stay at work super late without feeling guilty.
:/
Not shave my legs
Eat as much garlic as I want
Stay at work super late without feeling guilty.
:/
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Velcro shoes
Prison Issue 23: Coffee/Sterling BlueThese are my cute new shoes. They have velcro straps.
Two things:
1. I must be a woman - I went shoe shopping to cheer me up.
2. Something must really be wrong if I can't even bother with tying laces anymore.
In Seattle
Hello. I'm in Seattle. I've been missing Grey's but it's ok. I know it's Tivoed at home and I've been keeping myself busy enough that I am able to live without it. that won't stop me for looking for it on the abc website again after I finish writing.
People have lots of advice. It's funny because sometimes you want advice because you truly don't know what to do and need some (any!) direction. Then there are times when you realize that the person giving the advice won't understand enough about the situation to truly take into consideration everything that deserves considering. Sometimes that's good anyway. Sometimes details don't matter and there's a right answer and a wrong answer. I think i take the advice that I want.
People have lots of advice. It's funny because sometimes you want advice because you truly don't know what to do and need some (any!) direction. Then there are times when you realize that the person giving the advice won't understand enough about the situation to truly take into consideration everything that deserves considering. Sometimes that's good anyway. Sometimes details don't matter and there's a right answer and a wrong answer. I think i take the advice that I want.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
My weekend slow dancing in a burning room
I really wish I could write poems or songs. It would make expressing myself a lot easier. I much prefer to put cryptic lyrics in my profile than to actually say what's going on. I do it because I need to let it out, to scream and shout to anyone who might be listening without actually letting them know what's going on. It's why, when I'm asked, I tell people they're to be interpreted any way the reader would like, but only I really know. That's gotten me in trouble in the past. I don't know how many people actually look over them and wonder what's going on in my head, I think it would be interesting (but more likely disappointing) to find out.
I just realized I feel like Meredith (from Grey's, of course); she knitted a sweater.
It was good seeing my sisters again. I miss them. It's really hard to go from being in a house full of girls who love you unconditionally to driving around California aimlessly and alone. I should be realistic. I consider myself lucky for having the friends I do have in my new home. It just totally sucks being an adult.
It was good seeing Steve again. I miss him. I wish he wasn't having such a hard time with everything. I wish there was something I could do.
Everything does happen for a reason - I know it does. I just wish I knew the reason because waiting is hard.
The next day...
I'm so tired. I'm so so tired of thinking about it and crying over it and reliving everything in my head. I really just want it all to be over. I want to get on with my life. I can't be productive like this. I'm trying to get all of my finances all nice and organized, but I just can't because I can only think about one thing. I don't know why I can't distract myself or allow myself to think about anything else. I don't want to be in this horrible fog of a life anymore, I want to go back to being myself.
Throughout the day people kept asking me how my trip went, so I had to tell them. It went well, it really did. I came out of it better than I went in. It wasn't ideal for me, but it was the best I suppose (even though I hate to admit that). So I thought about it a bit. He says he cares about me and isn't angry with me anymore. I can't help but wonder if he's just doing a fantastic job of manipulating me into thinking those things so I'll leave him alone. I don't want to be some psycho chick, but it makes sense. What do you do when some girl won't let go? You tell them, "it's not you, it's me" a la George Costanza. While that thought is making the rounds through my head, I don't actually believe it. I believe every word he told me. And as agonizing as it is, I'm still waiting.
I just realized I feel like Meredith (from Grey's, of course); she knitted a sweater.
It was good seeing my sisters again. I miss them. It's really hard to go from being in a house full of girls who love you unconditionally to driving around California aimlessly and alone. I should be realistic. I consider myself lucky for having the friends I do have in my new home. It just totally sucks being an adult.
It was good seeing Steve again. I miss him. I wish he wasn't having such a hard time with everything. I wish there was something I could do.
Everything does happen for a reason - I know it does. I just wish I knew the reason because waiting is hard.
The next day...
I'm so tired. I'm so so tired of thinking about it and crying over it and reliving everything in my head. I really just want it all to be over. I want to get on with my life. I can't be productive like this. I'm trying to get all of my finances all nice and organized, but I just can't because I can only think about one thing. I don't know why I can't distract myself or allow myself to think about anything else. I don't want to be in this horrible fog of a life anymore, I want to go back to being myself.
Throughout the day people kept asking me how my trip went, so I had to tell them. It went well, it really did. I came out of it better than I went in. It wasn't ideal for me, but it was the best I suppose (even though I hate to admit that). So I thought about it a bit. He says he cares about me and isn't angry with me anymore. I can't help but wonder if he's just doing a fantastic job of manipulating me into thinking those things so I'll leave him alone. I don't want to be some psycho chick, but it makes sense. What do you do when some girl won't let go? You tell them, "it's not you, it's me" a la George Costanza. While that thought is making the rounds through my head, I don't actually believe it. I believe every word he told me. And as agonizing as it is, I'm still waiting.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
My car
By the way, this is my beautiful car.
I drive around with the top down all the time. It makes me feel more alive...and Californian.
I drive around with the top down all the time. It makes me feel more alive...and Californian.
Cheese curds
I have a craving for cheese curds. Mmm, squeeky salty cheese curds. But I have no idea where to get them around here! I think they're not fancy enough for Whole Foods (though I found a delicious Robusto that I'm now in love with. It's has hints of carmel and nuts. My friends said it smelled like feet, but I find the taste wonderful) but too regional for regular super markets. In Pittsburgh, i was able to find packets at Giant Eagle a few years ago. I'll continue my search and let you know.
Actually, the reason this came up is because I heard the farmers market in San Francisco has a dairy farmer who has cheese curds. So I suppose if I truly wanted my cheese curds I could get them...early on a Saturday morning...if I wanted to drive 45 minutes.
Actually, the reason this came up is because I heard the farmers market in San Francisco has a dairy farmer who has cheese curds. So I suppose if I truly wanted my cheese curds I could get them...early on a Saturday morning...if I wanted to drive 45 minutes.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Tri Delta Alum Meeting
I went to a Tri Delta alumnae meeting today. I drove into San Francisco and ended up at a lovely house that was filled with beautiful (and I mean beautiful) Tri Deltas. It's always hard being the new girl, but it was fun talking to other Tridelts. It turns out that next week there will be a Delta Drinking event followed by a viewing of the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. When I heard that, it kinda all came together for me. It's silly, but last year one of the things I really loved was sitting together with sisters and screaming and gasping and making predictions while watching Grey's.
On the way home I got pulled over for having expired registration. He let me go since I just bought my car. It was still nerve racking as it was the first time I saw those flashing lights behind me.
On the way home I got pulled over for having expired registration. He let me go since I just bought my car. It was still nerve racking as it was the first time I saw those flashing lights behind me.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Greys has all the answers
"Derek, have you considered that even though I’m Satan and an adulteress bitch I could still be the love of your life?"
Monday, September 11, 2006
What do I want?
So today I had to explain to Andrea why I was being quiet at her birthday party at Six Flags. I apologized and explained that it wasn't that I wasn't having a good time celebrating her birthday, it's just that I knew I was going home to have my boyfriend break up with me.
Long story short, Andrea (also single for the first time in a long time) asked me what I want. I want Steve.
Long story short, Andrea (also single for the first time in a long time) asked me what I want. I want Steve.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
One more gasp of air before drowning
...so that's a little dramatic but it's the best analogy I could think of to describe what's going on right now.
My lesson
For a while I knew I couldn't stop because I had nothing stopping me. I always assumed love would take care of that for me, but I realize I was wrong. In order for me to learn anything, I suppose I needed to fall myself.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
No New Grey's = Theresa is a Dum Dum
So I don't know what I was thinking. There was no new Grey's Anatomy - and I made Tom and Dan watch with me and everything. There was an episode I hadn't seen before so I guess that's kinda like new Grey's.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
A lot to say...
I have a lot to say...though none of it really significant. Hopefully jetlag and Grey's Anatomy will still allow me to have the energy to blog tomorrow.
In recent news:
I'm a horrible bitch
I just got back from Korea
I bought a car
I've been working for a while
I moved to a house in Mountain View
More to come.
In recent news:
I'm a horrible bitch
I just got back from Korea
I bought a car
I've been working for a while
I moved to a house in Mountain View
More to come.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Because I have too much time on my hands
So I've been reflecting a lot recently (because that's what people with too much time on their hands do).
A year ago I was just starting my internship with Merrill Lynch and I had just gone through a weekend of endless SEO training. I recognize that SEO has already had a huge impact on my life. I learned so much from that program that would've taken me years to learn otherwise. However, I realize that I still need to work on my networking skills and my confidence. I think I'm ok with appearing to be confident...which is the first step...but actually being confident on the job and in interactions with people are different. So I'll consider those my goals: gaining confidence and improving my networking skills. Check up on me periodically and see how I'm doing. :)
So cj used to tell me that at some point in life I needed to reflect deeply to understand myself. I believed him. But based on my experience and my studies, I disagree. I've found that self-reflection only makes me sad/upset/angry. So, since I've been alone and without something to occupy myself, I've been thinking too much. I find that when I'm occupied I am generally happier. And it's not just that I'm too distracted to recognize my feelings - research has concluded the same thing.
My mother said to me the other day that this is probably the most relaxing time in my life. I have no tests, no responsibilities, just vacation. It's nice but I miss having something to do all the time. I already plan on being involved in the Tridelt and the SEO alum organizations out in San Francisco but I'd also like to learn something new or gain a new hobby.
In other news, Google just sent me pretty substantial gift cards to Ikea and Best Buy as a present. They're so good to me.
A year ago I was just starting my internship with Merrill Lynch and I had just gone through a weekend of endless SEO training. I recognize that SEO has already had a huge impact on my life. I learned so much from that program that would've taken me years to learn otherwise. However, I realize that I still need to work on my networking skills and my confidence. I think I'm ok with appearing to be confident...which is the first step...but actually being confident on the job and in interactions with people are different. So I'll consider those my goals: gaining confidence and improving my networking skills. Check up on me periodically and see how I'm doing. :)
So cj used to tell me that at some point in life I needed to reflect deeply to understand myself. I believed him. But based on my experience and my studies, I disagree. I've found that self-reflection only makes me sad/upset/angry. So, since I've been alone and without something to occupy myself, I've been thinking too much. I find that when I'm occupied I am generally happier. And it's not just that I'm too distracted to recognize my feelings - research has concluded the same thing.
My mother said to me the other day that this is probably the most relaxing time in my life. I have no tests, no responsibilities, just vacation. It's nice but I miss having something to do all the time. I already plan on being involved in the Tridelt and the SEO alum organizations out in San Francisco but I'd also like to learn something new or gain a new hobby.
In other news, Google just sent me pretty substantial gift cards to Ikea and Best Buy as a present. They're so good to me.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I love television
Not because it's the only thing keeping me company right now, but because it's so amazingly brilliant sometimes. I just watched the last episode of Sex and the City and I nearly cried a couple times. I don't know what's with me. I'm not an emotional person by any means. TV just knows exactly how to get to me. I find myself relating to it. It's much like my relationship with music; those media know me better than any person. Of course it's a contrived relationship that exists only because I allow it to, but hell, let me have my fun.
So in this episode of Sex and the City, Carrie said "I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." Seriously. That's where it's at. Ha. Relationships generally consume my life which explains why I talk about them so much. I just need someone to keep me on my toes. It just seems guys can only keep me occupied for so long. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love can't last very long before it becomes too ridiculous, inconvenient, and consuming and turns into CAN live without each other. That's what makes me sad. It makes me wonder if marriage is really something that could make me happy. I much prefer being desperately in love to being comfortably in love.
Just my post-Sex and the City thoughts.
So in this episode of Sex and the City, Carrie said "I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." Seriously. That's where it's at. Ha. Relationships generally consume my life which explains why I talk about them so much. I just need someone to keep me on my toes. It just seems guys can only keep me occupied for so long. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love can't last very long before it becomes too ridiculous, inconvenient, and consuming and turns into CAN live without each other. That's what makes me sad. It makes me wonder if marriage is really something that could make me happy. I much prefer being desperately in love to being comfortably in love.
Just my post-Sex and the City thoughts.
Monday, May 29, 2006
The bottom of my foot itches...
...and I don't know what to do. I kinda want to scratch it with a brush but it's dark in my room and I don't know where I put my brush.
So it's been about a week since graduation. Graduation itself was actually a lot more casual and unprofound than I expected it to be. Moving out was rough just because I've lived in the house for 3 years and accumulated way too much stuff. All of my stuff is in California somewhere on its way to my apartment.
I absolutely hate being at home. I am most miserable when I'm here. There's a reason I haven't lived at home since I left for college. ::sigh:: I leave here June 13th and I look forward to it. I don't think I'll be any less lonely in California, but at least I won't have my mother nagging me to go to bed. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that my mother thinks she needs to tell me when to go to bed. I think I'm capable of deciding when I go to bed. If not for Steve being within 2 hours of here, I'm pretty sure I would've attempted to hitchhike my way to the west coast by now.
This weekend Steve and I went to West Chester U to go visit some high school friends of mine who live there. There was a party and I got to see a bunch of people I was pretty sure I would never see again. It was odd just because everyone considered me to have dropped off the face of the earth - I never really attempted to get in contact with any of them when I was home before. And being around them again made me realize why I didn't. Like I've said before: there are people in life who matter and people who don't. It's harsh, but true. It's not that everyone I saw is a complete waste of life, just most of them. Of the 8 of us from my graduating class in high school, only two of us have graduated thus far. Is graduating in 4 years an indication that someone is not a waste of life? By no means. But before I went there I had made a comment to Steve that I was pretty sure that none of them had graduated because they're useless.
My father thinks I'm a whore. This kinda bothers me and kinda doesn't. I suppose I can see why he might think that. But I cannot see why he thought it appropriate to call me a "loose woman." Ha, if only he knew the crazy stories that you guys do. So I was looking at pics from formal and my mom walks by and tells me she doesn't like them because I'm leaning on too many people. Apparently my parents have seen these pictures and have discussed how leaning on my friends is an indication that I'm a dirty slut.
I know I'm ranting a lot about my parents, but I am just trying to convey my pure hatred for being home. Today I went to the grocery store to pick up a few ingredients for some 7-layer dip I was making and I took the extra long way (through 3 different towns) to get home, just because I wanted to be away from the house. Our household only has 2 cars and my mom works all the time, so I am often stuck in the house. When I do try to go out, I am interrogated like crazy and often denied permission. Then they get upset and talk about how I should be spending time with my family and not running off and playing with my friends. What the hell? Spending time with my family? They don't actually mean spending time with the family - they mean just being within the confines of the walls of the same house. When I am home (which I am 23/24 hours of the day on average, we're all in different rooms all doing our own thing.
So, in conclusion, I'm bored and lonely. Save me.
So it's been about a week since graduation. Graduation itself was actually a lot more casual and unprofound than I expected it to be. Moving out was rough just because I've lived in the house for 3 years and accumulated way too much stuff. All of my stuff is in California somewhere on its way to my apartment.
I absolutely hate being at home. I am most miserable when I'm here. There's a reason I haven't lived at home since I left for college. ::sigh:: I leave here June 13th and I look forward to it. I don't think I'll be any less lonely in California, but at least I won't have my mother nagging me to go to bed. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that my mother thinks she needs to tell me when to go to bed. I think I'm capable of deciding when I go to bed. If not for Steve being within 2 hours of here, I'm pretty sure I would've attempted to hitchhike my way to the west coast by now.
This weekend Steve and I went to West Chester U to go visit some high school friends of mine who live there. There was a party and I got to see a bunch of people I was pretty sure I would never see again. It was odd just because everyone considered me to have dropped off the face of the earth - I never really attempted to get in contact with any of them when I was home before. And being around them again made me realize why I didn't. Like I've said before: there are people in life who matter and people who don't. It's harsh, but true. It's not that everyone I saw is a complete waste of life, just most of them. Of the 8 of us from my graduating class in high school, only two of us have graduated thus far. Is graduating in 4 years an indication that someone is not a waste of life? By no means. But before I went there I had made a comment to Steve that I was pretty sure that none of them had graduated because they're useless.
My father thinks I'm a whore. This kinda bothers me and kinda doesn't. I suppose I can see why he might think that. But I cannot see why he thought it appropriate to call me a "loose woman." Ha, if only he knew the crazy stories that you guys do. So I was looking at pics from formal and my mom walks by and tells me she doesn't like them because I'm leaning on too many people. Apparently my parents have seen these pictures and have discussed how leaning on my friends is an indication that I'm a dirty slut.
I know I'm ranting a lot about my parents, but I am just trying to convey my pure hatred for being home. Today I went to the grocery store to pick up a few ingredients for some 7-layer dip I was making and I took the extra long way (through 3 different towns) to get home, just because I wanted to be away from the house. Our household only has 2 cars and my mom works all the time, so I am often stuck in the house. When I do try to go out, I am interrogated like crazy and often denied permission. Then they get upset and talk about how I should be spending time with my family and not running off and playing with my friends. What the hell? Spending time with my family? They don't actually mean spending time with the family - they mean just being within the confines of the walls of the same house. When I am home (which I am 23/24 hours of the day on average, we're all in different rooms all doing our own thing.
So, in conclusion, I'm bored and lonely. Save me.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Update
So, I realize that I need to give an actual update on life so you guys know what's going on.
*I graduate in 12 days.
*In 11 days, I will be giving a speech at the IS diploma ceremony.
*I leave for CA on Tuesday, June 13.
*I'll be living in downtown Palo Alto, about 10 minutes away from work and about 45 minutes outside of San Francisco.
*The place I'm living in in Palo Alto is just a sublet for the summer while my roommate and I look for a permanent place. The sublet has 3 bedrooms, a pool, garage, and HDTV. Come visit.
*I'm living with David Murray who is also working at Google. He's a triple major in CS/Voice/HCI
*I current plan on purchasing a Honda Civic Hybrid after I get my first paycheck
I have a few finals. Empirical Research Methods and Reason, Passion, and Cognition as well as an optional Social Psychology exam which I will likely take to make up for subpar grades on other exams. Once I'm done with that there are senior events and stuff going on. I look forward to a trip to Heinz Field with the entire class as well as a night at Dave and Buster's.
After Greek Sing, I met a guy named Steve Curtis (who happens to be PiKA's Greek Sing chair...why I didn't know him until after Greek Sing...well that's just PiKA). About a week after Greek Sing I broke up with Nik but it really wasn't related to Steve or any other guys at all. I had known for a while that things weren't going to work out with me and Nik and I chose to end it. I wanted to live life as a single girl for a while. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I don't have much conviction and Steve and I are dating now. It was big and dramatic (at least on my end) when it became official (i.e. on facebook).
I'm trying to imagine what you girls (who weren't aware of all this) are thinking. The thing that comes to mind is that you're not surprised; typical Theresa behavior, I suppose. Anyway, if you care to know more about him and what the status of this whole thing is...he's a junior (not even 21! I'm so old), from Jersey (gross), business major who was formerly Math/Physics. Our first date was at a Thai place called Typhoon in Shadyside over Carnival. He ate tofu and enjoyed it; that made me happy. He leaves for home on Tuesday (one week from today) to work at this yatch club for the summer. Oh and he's this crazy pothead (I disapprove...I seriously did not know that people smoked up as much as he and his roommates do) except he quit for the summer because he has to be able to be licensed to drive boats or something. Anyway, after graduation I'm going to be at home for 3 weeks so he and I plan to rendezvouz occasionally since we're not too far from each other.
The girls here all approve of him. Apparently Leah had called dibs on him last semester when they were working together as Greek Sing chairs but I didn't know this until it was too late. She's not mad at me. Well, considering I'm graduating and I've known him for 6 weeks, I don't know what I'm doing. The poor guy, I don't know why he puts up with me. I've gone psychotic on him many times and tried to kick him out of my life...just because I feel like it's easier to do now in person rather than over the phone from different time zones. So why am I continuing to do this? I don't know. He's also the least validating guy I've ever been with but I realize maybe that's exact what I need. What I mean is that he always leaves me guessing about what he's thinking. When I ask he tells me he's not thinking anything (which has been the source of many of my psychotic episodes). He never compliments me and rarely reassures me when I get jealous of other girls. It drives me crazy.
Putting all that out there in that way kinda makes it sound like he's not a good guy. But he is. I swear. Will it work? I doubt it. I think he'll drive me crazy one day and I'll flip out. In the meantime though, at least I'm having a good time.
*I graduate in 12 days.
*In 11 days, I will be giving a speech at the IS diploma ceremony.
*I leave for CA on Tuesday, June 13.
*I'll be living in downtown Palo Alto, about 10 minutes away from work and about 45 minutes outside of San Francisco.
*The place I'm living in in Palo Alto is just a sublet for the summer while my roommate and I look for a permanent place. The sublet has 3 bedrooms, a pool, garage, and HDTV. Come visit.
*I'm living with David Murray who is also working at Google. He's a triple major in CS/Voice/HCI
*I current plan on purchasing a Honda Civic Hybrid after I get my first paycheck
I have a few finals. Empirical Research Methods and Reason, Passion, and Cognition as well as an optional Social Psychology exam which I will likely take to make up for subpar grades on other exams. Once I'm done with that there are senior events and stuff going on. I look forward to a trip to Heinz Field with the entire class as well as a night at Dave and Buster's.
After Greek Sing, I met a guy named Steve Curtis (who happens to be PiKA's Greek Sing chair...why I didn't know him until after Greek Sing...well that's just PiKA). About a week after Greek Sing I broke up with Nik but it really wasn't related to Steve or any other guys at all. I had known for a while that things weren't going to work out with me and Nik and I chose to end it. I wanted to live life as a single girl for a while. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I don't have much conviction and Steve and I are dating now. It was big and dramatic (at least on my end) when it became official (i.e. on facebook).
I'm trying to imagine what you girls (who weren't aware of all this) are thinking. The thing that comes to mind is that you're not surprised; typical Theresa behavior, I suppose. Anyway, if you care to know more about him and what the status of this whole thing is...he's a junior (not even 21! I'm so old), from Jersey (gross), business major who was formerly Math/Physics. Our first date was at a Thai place called Typhoon in Shadyside over Carnival. He ate tofu and enjoyed it; that made me happy. He leaves for home on Tuesday (one week from today) to work at this yatch club for the summer. Oh and he's this crazy pothead (I disapprove...I seriously did not know that people smoked up as much as he and his roommates do) except he quit for the summer because he has to be able to be licensed to drive boats or something. Anyway, after graduation I'm going to be at home for 3 weeks so he and I plan to rendezvouz occasionally since we're not too far from each other.
The girls here all approve of him. Apparently Leah had called dibs on him last semester when they were working together as Greek Sing chairs but I didn't know this until it was too late. She's not mad at me. Well, considering I'm graduating and I've known him for 6 weeks, I don't know what I'm doing. The poor guy, I don't know why he puts up with me. I've gone psychotic on him many times and tried to kick him out of my life...just because I feel like it's easier to do now in person rather than over the phone from different time zones. So why am I continuing to do this? I don't know. He's also the least validating guy I've ever been with but I realize maybe that's exact what I need. What I mean is that he always leaves me guessing about what he's thinking. When I ask he tells me he's not thinking anything (which has been the source of many of my psychotic episodes). He never compliments me and rarely reassures me when I get jealous of other girls. It drives me crazy.
Putting all that out there in that way kinda makes it sound like he's not a good guy. But he is. I swear. Will it work? I doubt it. I think he'll drive me crazy one day and I'll flip out. In the meantime though, at least I'm having a good time.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Oh Grey's
Why oh why can't I watch free episodes of Grey's Anatomy on the ABC website? They have Desperate Housewives and Lost but not Grey's! This is ridiculous.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Focus
I have an inability to focus. It all started after Greek Sing. I didn't really do anything after spring break because it was Greek Sing week. Since then I've just been slacking and being a bum. I've barely been to work and I just generally procrastinate even more than I usually do. I allow myself to get distracted and I really shouldn't. I ought to be disciplined and focus but I really don't see the point. I'd rather sit around and eat or something. I think I'll go munch on some leftover popcorn across the hall...
Monday, April 17, 2006
Not doing what I'm supposed to
I should be doing homework or hard core working on booth.
No one (at least Laura, Liz, and Caryl) has updated their blog in a long time. I don't know how they expect me to keep up on their lives...by talking to them or something?
For a quick assessment of what's going on: I broke up with Nik and I started (hesitantly) to wear my lovalier again. When I visited Liz she reminded me not to take life too seriously and it really opened my eyes that last bit that they needed. I laugh to myself when Andrea, Leah, and Lacey get into huge impassioned Tri Delta rants. It's just funny because a year ago I was where they are now and there's nothing I can say that can convince them that the world will indeed keep turning despite the ridiculousness of sorority life.
Speaking of the ridiculousness of sorority life...yeah, crazy. At least we're ending my college career with a bang.
In other news, Leah and I are currently reading (actually she reads, I skim) The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Allie mentioned it to me last year and I recommended it to Leah but ended up buying it with her. Leah told me I didn't need it (and I laughed at her) but I didn't get it to learn how to seduce people. I'm much more interested in the assessment of people and their weaknesses that make up part of the book.
Yesterday I was reading through the various seducer types and it turns out everyone else's assessment of me is very different from my own. That's expected but I'm glad I asked others or I would've never known.
I'm also glad I finally found my place again. Andrea, Leah, and I are having a fun time and I feel like part of something again. I feel comfortable just chilling with them and telling them everything, making them snacks and drinks and just spoiling everyone as much as possible.
So, in conclusion, I'm having fun but laughing at myself.
No one (at least Laura, Liz, and Caryl) has updated their blog in a long time. I don't know how they expect me to keep up on their lives...by talking to them or something?
For a quick assessment of what's going on: I broke up with Nik and I started (hesitantly) to wear my lovalier again. When I visited Liz she reminded me not to take life too seriously and it really opened my eyes that last bit that they needed. I laugh to myself when Andrea, Leah, and Lacey get into huge impassioned Tri Delta rants. It's just funny because a year ago I was where they are now and there's nothing I can say that can convince them that the world will indeed keep turning despite the ridiculousness of sorority life.
Speaking of the ridiculousness of sorority life...yeah, crazy. At least we're ending my college career with a bang.
In other news, Leah and I are currently reading (actually she reads, I skim) The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Allie mentioned it to me last year and I recommended it to Leah but ended up buying it with her. Leah told me I didn't need it (and I laughed at her) but I didn't get it to learn how to seduce people. I'm much more interested in the assessment of people and their weaknesses that make up part of the book.
Yesterday I was reading through the various seducer types and it turns out everyone else's assessment of me is very different from my own. That's expected but I'm glad I asked others or I would've never known.
I'm also glad I finally found my place again. Andrea, Leah, and I are having a fun time and I feel like part of something again. I feel comfortable just chilling with them and telling them everything, making them snacks and drinks and just spoiling everyone as much as possible.
So, in conclusion, I'm having fun but laughing at myself.
Monday, April 10, 2006
I'm an HCI major because I am interested in how people make decisions related to computers. Deep down, I believe I am actually a psychologist. I would never get a psychology degree though - that'd be useless. I don't know how to continue this entry. I want to explain all of the reasons why I believe myself to be a fair analyst of personalities, behavior, and attitude but I don't believe in talking about that sort of thing. And I know exactly why.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Music, lyrics, and time
So I have to write my spring break post that gushes over my boyfriend and our wonderful trip but right now I feel compelled to write about how I feel right now.
So a year ago I named my blog "My Stupid Mouth" after John Mayer song. I haven't listened to the song in a while and it just came on in my playlist. It's funny how just listening to a song can take me to that time when it meant so much to me. It was the perfect theme song to my life at the time, or so I thought.
Where was I? Oh yes, so my life a year ago now that I'm here and able to admit it a year later. Junior year was the year of being torn down, destroyed, and put into my place...or so I thought.
So I don't know how much I really want to go into this. I feel like it's explaining a joke...it just isn't funny when it has to be explained.
I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now
One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire
Oh I'm never speaking up again
So a year ago I named my blog "My Stupid Mouth" after John Mayer song. I haven't listened to the song in a while and it just came on in my playlist. It's funny how just listening to a song can take me to that time when it meant so much to me. It was the perfect theme song to my life at the time, or so I thought.
Where was I? Oh yes, so my life a year ago now that I'm here and able to admit it a year later. Junior year was the year of being torn down, destroyed, and put into my place...or so I thought.
So I don't know how much I really want to go into this. I feel like it's explaining a joke...it just isn't funny when it has to be explained.
I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now
One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Music
I love music. I think it's such an amazing concept. It can express so much in so many different ways. Listening to music always makes me happy. When I listen to music on my walks to and from classes/meetings I must look like I'm on drugs because I just smile about everything and see the entire world differently. I like my little world where I can hear the soundtrack to life that no one else can.
Ipod.
Heh heh. Not really. I just felt like this seems like some sort of weird not-so-cool music device ad or something. But seriously music is my drug.
Ipod.
Heh heh. Not really. I just felt like this seems like some sort of weird not-so-cool music device ad or something. But seriously music is my drug.
Monday, February 27, 2006
It must be me...
This has to do with my interactions with men. People who know me know what I'm talking about (kinda...I have a lot of stories), but I didn't want to just go and throw things out into the internet world for everyone to see...
Some screwed up things have happened to me in the past and I always took it as just a funny coincidence. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it's me. Do I do something to bring these things on in my life? And then they go and consume my thoughts. Maybe this is why I just laugh all this crap off all the time - because I know it's my fault. If you know what I'm doing, let me know because I'd love to be clued in.
Some screwed up things have happened to me in the past and I always took it as just a funny coincidence. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it's me. Do I do something to bring these things on in my life? And then they go and consume my thoughts. Maybe this is why I just laugh all this crap off all the time - because I know it's my fault. If you know what I'm doing, let me know because I'd love to be clued in.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Nick Verreos
I'm so upset. Nick Verreos lost the last Project Runway challenge and had to leave the show. It's obvious that there was producer intervention in that decision. Santino's outfit looked horrible. Absolutely horrible. The sleeve was falling off of Kara and I saw parts of her that really ought not to be seen. The only reason Santino has been on that show for so long is because he is a focal point. His personality is such that he draws attention to himself and his demeanor is amusing. That doesn't mean I like him or would be his friend - it just means he's interesting.
Nick is a good designer. I really hope he gets picked up by some fashion design company because I think he makes a much better commercial designer than most of those people would. He makes clothing that real people would wear and look good in. Granted, he has been in the final two these past few weeks, but he's been in a rut since what's-her-name stole his model! Nick was strong and stood up to Santino and I have a lot of respect for him as a person and as a designer.
Ok, that's enough posts about tv-related things now.
Nick is a good designer. I really hope he gets picked up by some fashion design company because I think he makes a much better commercial designer than most of those people would. He makes clothing that real people would wear and look good in. Granted, he has been in the final two these past few weeks, but he's been in a rut since what's-her-name stole his model! Nick was strong and stood up to Santino and I have a lot of respect for him as a person and as a designer.
Ok, that's enough posts about tv-related things now.
My love for Michelle Kwan
I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty upset that Kwan withdrew from the Olympics this morning. I really wanted her to win a gold for once. I feel like she deserves it. It's hard to think that she's past the peak of her career and she's 25. She was 12 and she was more successful than I'll ever be.
For some reason, I usually dislike Asian celebrities. Maybe I'm jealous of them because we're similar in that whole race aspect, I don't know. Maybe I like Kwan because she was too young to dislike when I first heard of her. I remember when she used to wear her hair in a really tight ponytail for every competition and when it was a big deal when she started getting more womanly and sexier.
I got teary when I heard about her withdraw annoucement. It must've been the hardest thing she's ever had to do. Or perhaps it wasn't; maybe she knew it was coming but was hoping it wouldn't. I'll bet standing on as a silver medalist on the Olympic podium must've been pretty rough - knowing that if she had done just one tiny thing differently it could've been her.
I was about to say that she should've gone out on top like Seinfeld did but then I realized that that is why she hasn't left yet. Oh Michelle, if it were up to me you would've had a gold 10 years ago.
For some reason, I usually dislike Asian celebrities. Maybe I'm jealous of them because we're similar in that whole race aspect, I don't know. Maybe I like Kwan because she was too young to dislike when I first heard of her. I remember when she used to wear her hair in a really tight ponytail for every competition and when it was a big deal when she started getting more womanly and sexier.
I got teary when I heard about her withdraw annoucement. It must've been the hardest thing she's ever had to do. Or perhaps it wasn't; maybe she knew it was coming but was hoping it wouldn't. I'll bet standing on as a silver medalist on the Olympic podium must've been pretty rough - knowing that if she had done just one tiny thing differently it could've been her.
I was about to say that she should've gone out on top like Seinfeld did but then I realized that that is why she hasn't left yet. Oh Michelle, if it were up to me you would've had a gold 10 years ago.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Secret embrace
The new Victoria's Secret Secret Embrace Bra is amazing. Helen, Katie, and I have taken before and after pictures to prove it. In the first picture, Helen and I are wearing Victoria's Secret Very Sexy bra. In the second, more superior and cleavage enhanced picture, we are wearing the super comfortable Secret Embrace.
Trust me, there's a world of difference.
Before:  | After:  |
Trust me, there's a world of difference.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Wendy's Customer Service
Wendy's customer service has definitely gone downhill. We all knew the Junior Bacon Cheeseburger couldn't remain $0.99 forever but now I don't even know what its status is. Sometimes it's $0.99 sometime's it's $1.29. But that's not the point. Well, the point is that they're charging us more for food that is of lesser quality served with lesser service.
When I went home for break it was late at night and my family took me to Wendy's to get something to eat. We were the only car even looking at Wendy's within a 5 block radius. So we order our food and drive the car up to the window to pay/wait for our food...only we pay and they tell us to pull up further - toward the intersection (or what I'll call an intersection since this was in a parking lot). We do and we look around wondering why they made us pull up. Not another car comes while we wait. So the Wendy's person sticks his head out of the window and says "Ok, come back!" We put the car in reverse and get our food handed to us. Thank goodness my dad was as curious as I was because he asked us what that whole shuffling thing was about. "Oh, that's so that the timer doesn't time you waiting here for more than 60 seconds. We'd get in trouble."
WTF. Seriously. If you don't want to get in trouble for having us there for more than 60 seconds, how about you serve us our food within 60 seconds? If I ever get asked to do that at another restaurant I'm not going to do it. THEN we drove away and opened our JBCs only to find there was no lettuce on them. Boo Wendy's.
Last night Mike and Jack brought us Wendy's food. They bought 4 JBCs and a hamburger with only ketchup on it (now dubbed a Lacey burger). What did they receive? 5 Lacey burgers. I love my little but Lacey burgers are no where near as good as the real thing.
Wendy's - I'm disappointed.
When I went home for break it was late at night and my family took me to Wendy's to get something to eat. We were the only car even looking at Wendy's within a 5 block radius. So we order our food and drive the car up to the window to pay/wait for our food...only we pay and they tell us to pull up further - toward the intersection (or what I'll call an intersection since this was in a parking lot). We do and we look around wondering why they made us pull up. Not another car comes while we wait. So the Wendy's person sticks his head out of the window and says "Ok, come back!" We put the car in reverse and get our food handed to us. Thank goodness my dad was as curious as I was because he asked us what that whole shuffling thing was about. "Oh, that's so that the timer doesn't time you waiting here for more than 60 seconds. We'd get in trouble."
WTF. Seriously. If you don't want to get in trouble for having us there for more than 60 seconds, how about you serve us our food within 60 seconds? If I ever get asked to do that at another restaurant I'm not going to do it. THEN we drove away and opened our JBCs only to find there was no lettuce on them. Boo Wendy's.
Last night Mike and Jack brought us Wendy's food. They bought 4 JBCs and a hamburger with only ketchup on it (now dubbed a Lacey burger). What did they receive? 5 Lacey burgers. I love my little but Lacey burgers are no where near as good as the real thing.
Wendy's - I'm disappointed.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Happy
I just got a lovely random IM from Jessica Newman. It's so nice to hear from people you haven't talked to in a while. It makes me feel special that she would take the time to click on my screenname and start a conversation with me. Thanks Jess!
I'm happy. I am happy for now, at least. I'm generally in a good mood. I have some goals for this semester. I want to not procrastinate, make my senior year memorable, be worthwhile, and be social. Those are pretty much the same goals I have every semester but it doesn't usually work. Last semester I definitely didn't work to my potential and, magically (since everything always works out for me), I still came out all right.
Anyway, life is good. I have a job. Come visit me in San Francisco starting in June because I'll be at Google in Mountain View. Yay! A few months ago I posted a job description from google saying it was my dream job for after college...and now here I am living my dream I suppose.
The semester is starting up and there's a lot to look foward to - new classes, booth, greek sing, taking over the world, etc. Also, assuming my HCI project class doesn't actually meet on Mondays (because it's a project class), I will have 4 day weekends this semester. That means I should spend lots of time visiting DC and NC. Heh heh.
I do have some money troubles though. Money troubles only half stress me out. As long as I try to stay on budget and continue trying to convince my handsome, loving boyfriend to give me a credit card. Hehehe.
Anyway, to conclude, life is good. Lacey is back too! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In love, have a job, and realize I'm happy. Happiness is good.
I'm happy. I am happy for now, at least. I'm generally in a good mood. I have some goals for this semester. I want to not procrastinate, make my senior year memorable, be worthwhile, and be social. Those are pretty much the same goals I have every semester but it doesn't usually work. Last semester I definitely didn't work to my potential and, magically (since everything always works out for me), I still came out all right.
Anyway, life is good. I have a job. Come visit me in San Francisco starting in June because I'll be at Google in Mountain View. Yay! A few months ago I posted a job description from google saying it was my dream job for after college...and now here I am living my dream I suppose.
The semester is starting up and there's a lot to look foward to - new classes, booth, greek sing, taking over the world, etc. Also, assuming my HCI project class doesn't actually meet on Mondays (because it's a project class), I will have 4 day weekends this semester. That means I should spend lots of time visiting DC and NC. Heh heh.
I do have some money troubles though. Money troubles only half stress me out. As long as I try to stay on budget and continue trying to convince my handsome, loving boyfriend to give me a credit card. Hehehe.
Anyway, to conclude, life is good. Lacey is back too! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In love, have a job, and realize I'm happy. Happiness is good.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Surprises and spontaneity
I like surprises and spontaneity. So you know what my man gives me? Surprises and spontaneity. Nik decided to come in this afternoon after my Summit classes. He's so good to me. He deals with me teasing him to no end in front of Helen. Heheheh. Tolerance, surprises, and spontaneity - that's what Nik is good for.
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