Because I have too much time on my hands

So I've been reflecting a lot recently (because that's what people with too much time on their hands do).

A year ago I was just starting my internship with Merrill Lynch and I had just gone through a weekend of endless SEO training. I recognize that SEO has already had a huge impact on my life. I learned so much from that program that would've taken me years to learn otherwise. However, I realize that I still need to work on my networking skills and my confidence. I think I'm ok with appearing to be confident...which is the first step...but actually being confident on the job and in interactions with people are different. So I'll consider those my goals: gaining confidence and improving my networking skills. Check up on me periodically and see how I'm doing. :)

So cj used to tell me that at some point in life I needed to reflect deeply to understand myself. I believed him. But based on my experience and my studies, I disagree. I've found that self-reflection only makes me sad/upset/angry. So, since I've been alone and without something to occupy myself, I've been thinking too much. I find that when I'm occupied I am generally happier. And it's not just that I'm too distracted to recognize my feelings - research has concluded the same thing.

My mother said to me the other day that this is probably the most relaxing time in my life. I have no tests, no responsibilities, just vacation. It's nice but I miss having something to do all the time. I already plan on being involved in the Tridelt and the SEO alum organizations out in San Francisco but I'd also like to learn something new or gain a new hobby.

In other news, Google just sent me pretty substantial gift cards to Ikea and Best Buy as a present. They're so good to me.