Bus post

I'm sitting on the bus writing this entry. I don't really know where I am. Somewhere outside Pittsburgh on the turnpike is as precise as I can be. Outside of Pittsburgh is not where I want to be. I'd much rather be in Pittsburgh or with Nik. I shouldn't complain. Nik and I had a lovely weekend and I'm going to see him again in four days. At least we get to spend our five monthiversary together. In fact, the city of New York will be having fireworks to celebrate the occasion. I also hope that Nik passes the Millionaire auditions - even if he doesn't win much (or any) money I think it would be fun.

I think I'm going to put the address to my blog in my profile, so long as it doesn't interfere with the other things in my profile (quotes, lyrics, etc). Basically, the priority will go: annoucements, quotes, lyrics, blog. However, that isn't necessarily the list of what will be seen; that list is probably more like: lyrics, annoucements, blog, quotes. Anyway, this decision comes as a result of many months of contemplation. It's not that I have anything interesting enough for people to read about, but I realize that is the decision of each potential reader to make.

John Mayer's Something's Missing just came on and, as promised, I think I will update my list of qualifications for happiness as determined by the song:
I can't be sure that this state of mine is not of my own design...
Friends: Yep, and I'm enjoying my summer friends very much.
Money: I've gotten two Merrill paychecks so far and still don't feel very rich. I have to pay my dad back for housing and I have to pay off my credit card (thanks, Peru). Oh! and taxes are a bitch! I keep trying to tell myself it was never my money in the first place, but it doesn't make me feel any better to see $500+ removed from my paycheck.
Well slept: Yes, I feel I am. I need to get back on track with my midnight bedtime for worknights though.
Opposite sex: Obviously.
Guitar: Still no, but I was JUST thinking about how I should learn to play...because that would make me cool.
Microphone: No, but I'll call this (my blog) my microphone for now.
Messages waiting when I come home: No, but I'm not all that concerned.

Honey, you should know that I had to think twice before I was ok with leaving the apostrophe in "Something's." It's not that I've ever had a problem with apostrophes (I have pretty good writing grammar, I think) but I guess I'm really conscious of their appropriate use now.

Now, about Merrill, SEO, and life in general. I should probably write drafts of the thank you letters for the CSFB seminar...one step at a time. Right now that doesn't interest me as much as writing this blog entry.


After work on Friday I feel a lot better about Merrill, my internship, and even the (temporary) direction of my career. I say temporary because I really don't think I can see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I don't think I'm the kind of person who would remain at the bottom for all that long, but I keep asking myself how high I would have to get before I could decide that I was satisfied. Too high and I won't have time for my future family, too low and I'll feel unfulfilled and unsuccessful. Careful balance...
Or maybe it's just that I shouldn't work in the finance industry. Screw this long hours crap! Why can't America be reasonable? Why do we have to kill ourselves like this? That's why I'm moving to Scandinavia. And it's not because of Nik...I've wanted to move to Sweden for as long as I can remember...or at least since the 2004 Presidential election. Seriously, Scandinavia has got it going on (except for the cold weather).

Anyway, I was talking about my summer at Merrill. I'm going into my fifth week (nearly at the halfway point!) and things are going well. I really should try to get in earlier in the morning since SEO says I should be the first one in and the last one out...:::sigh:::. It's not about me....it's not about me....right, my SEO family? ha. I really feel like I'd get an offer if they based their decisions on performance up to this point. However, they don't and I don't know that for sure so I have to work harder and also not screw up.

SEO is great. I will be eternally grateful for everything they've taught me and inspired me to be. While I do complain about it and don't always feel like following the SEO "rules" I also realize that without them I wouldn't be as confident or as well off (offer-wise) as I am. I need to contact my mentor more. Really, I ought to take advantage of every resource I have...which is way too many sometimes.

Life in general...good. I spent last weekend with my family and we did uncharacteristically cutsie family things so I'll take that as a good sign. I really do need to be more appreciative of my parents. I try, I really do...but they can be incredibly frustrating at times. Anyone who's ever heard me talk on the phone with my mother or father can attest to that. I hate to be disrespectful, but I also hate to be disrespected, that's all. It's no excuse. I'll be more respectful, starting now.

Next week I have a phone interview with Pam Carney and John Hannon for convocation student speaker. While I feel fairly confident in my ability to give a good speech, I also don't know who my competition is :} It really would make me happy to get it, but I don't want to be selfish. I'm not doing it for completely selfish reasons though...I really really want to say something to the freshmen class. I really want to tell them to be more than just students and do more than just study...I want CMU to be a better place (cheesy, I know) and these freshmen can do that. I want them to love CMU. I get so angry when I hear about people who spend 4 years hating CMU, Pittsburgh, and everything. If that's you, it's your own fault! I don't feel sorry for you! Maybe you should've tried harder, bitch! (Hmmm...speaking words that ought to be spoken to me...only replacing a few selected words....) Well, anyway, CMU has a lot to offer for everyone. From the biggest CS nerds to the ultimate frat boys, I know people who have found their place and are happy with CMU so I think anyone can do it, it's just that some might need guidance or inspiration. That is why I want to give the convocation speech. However, I feel slightly vulnerable for throwing it out there that I'm even a candidate; I might not get it.

Restaurant week continues this week. While I feel semi-guilty about eating out and spending at least $40 at each meal, I also feel like I'd be cheating myself if I weren't taking advantage of restaurant week. Chris Watkins and I went to the lovely Sea Grill at Rockerfeller Center and it was absolutely delicious. I'm all about new experiences and stuff. I hope Nik gets in early enough on Friday that we can go to dinner. Perhaps we'll go to the Scandinavian place and it'll be yummy.

By the way, Picasa is amazing. It seriously reads my mind sometimes. The only problem I've noticed so far (actually there are two) is that when I add keywords, pressing Enter, Ctrl+Enter, Alt+Enter, Tab then Enter will not add the keyword, instead I have to press the "Add" button with my mouse. Boo. I'm a keyboard person. The other problem I've noticed is that the timeline doesn't...nevermind. I'm going to interrupt myself because I was about say a lie about Picasa. After further investigation, I was wrong in thinking the timeline uses the date the item was added to Picasa instead of the Date Created date. OK, seriously. Picasa = amazing. I <3 Google. Thank you for creating brilliant software!

It happened so naturally, I did not know it was love. The next thing i felt was you holding me close what was i gonna do, I let myself go. Ain't nobody loves me better, makes me happy, makes me feel this way...at first you put your arms around me, then you put your charms on me, I cannot resist this sweet surrender.

My favorite things about this weekend:
Seeing Nik's smile when we first saw each other
Waking up
"and it was good..."
I'm not a slut
the large supply of sweet tea
Saltwater
Hand holding (heh heh)
The inability to not hold hands
Ikea fun
Messing up a clean room
Showering every 3 hours
My bruise
Goat-like behavior

I've been trying to figure out some way of communicating with c j without making him mad. I've been considering putting something in my profile that he'll understand. I haven't come up with anything yet. But as I sit here listening to my music, "Wondering" came on and I can't help but get upset. He would definitely know it was for him, but I know that because it's breaking my heart, it'll break his too. How awful. I've been avoiding that song for months. I don't listen to Ben Folds much either anymore.

If you want me to wait,
I would wait for you.
If you tell me to stay,
I would stay right thru.
If you dont want to say anything at all,
I'm happy wondering.

Since I was a young man,
I never was a fun man.
I never had a plan and no security.
Then ever since I met you,
I never could forget you.
I only wanna get you right here next to me.

'Cause everybody needs someone that they can trust and...
You're somebody that I found just in time.

Now my life is changing,
It's always rearranging.
It always getting stranger than I though it ever could.
Ever since I found you,
I wanna be around you.
I wanna get down to the point that I need you.

If you want me to wait,
I would wait for you.
If you tell me to stay,
I would stay right thru.
If you dont want to say anything at all,
I'm happy wondering.

Don't tell me the bad news,
Don't tell me anything at all.
Just tell me that you need me.
And stay right here with me.

If you want me to wait,
I would wait for you.
If you tell me to stay,
I would stay right thru.
If you dont want to say anything at all,
I'm happy wondering.

It's just a stupid Good Charlotte song and only he and I know what it all means. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. I feel like such a horrible person. I feel like I shouldn't still be bothered by it. I know Nik understands, but at some point he has to expect me to get over it. I've tried to separate the two lives as much as possible. There are things that I used to love but I don't share them with Nik. I'm lucky to have someone who is so patient with me.

I'm actually really upset. I feel like such a loser for not having anything to do for the second night in a row. And it's not like I didn't try. I called people, I IMed people, I told people to call me...
"Without friends, our lives are empty and meaningless" says the rabbi on Seinfeld as I write this. ha.

I work here...

First day

So I had orientation today. I don't feel like it was a real first day since I wasn't sitting at a desk or anything.

Money is a big concern. I'm very worried. I get paid next friday...but the check isn't even coming to me. It's probably better that way since my parents can probably deposit it into my PNC account faster than I would be able to.
I bought a few shirts today from old navy. I ironed one on too high a setting (it has spandex in it) and it burnt. so mad...especially since I have no money to be wasting on burnt shirts.

Vevek told me he wants to meet Nik. He also asked if we're going to get married.

Days are short...

So I'm sitting in my bed realizing that this is the exact position I was in 12 hours ago. The days are a lot shorter when there's nothing to do and nothing to stress me out...and when I sleep til noon. I guess I'm glad...because it means that I'll be back where I belong in no time. :}
Plans for tomorrow: bake chocolate chip cookies, mail chocolate chip cookies, (maybe) shop for a graduation present for Dan, go to Dan's graduation party, work on my SEO online training, some other stuff...

Sad

No goodnight phone call.
I can't spend the next year plus some waiting for a goodnight. Not that I won't...but I shouldn't allow it to consume me the way it does.

Clippership

Last night was interesting. Just to remind myself, here are the things I plan to talk about: Jess on my relationship, Liz's sweater, cj being crazy, my dream

I dreamt Nik was still here with me. I dreamt he was laying in bed and telling me how in love he is with me. I was happy. I miss him so much. I got that warm happy feeling inside when I saw his name on a receipt in my room. A receipt! How ridiculous am I?

Speaking of ridiculous...cj was crazy last night. I do feel bad for having ruined his night or whatever. I passed him on the way to the bus, he acknowledged my existence. Then he and his crew got on the same bus as us and he sat right behind me! If my presence bothers you that much, why the hell would you sit right behind me? I was told he interrogated Caryl as to what I was doing there, why she brought me (she didn't, Laura/Jess did), etc etc. Then I was able to avoid him til I got on the dance floor. My sisters happened to be dancing near him. He seemed to be having a good time and I was hoping he wouldn't notice me. Emili danced with him...and since she's one of his dream girls I figured everything was ok. Too bad she's a dance floor slut...haha. I saw them once more on the dance floor. Laura later came up to me and said in a panicked voice "you should really stay as far away from cj as possible." She explained that she said hi to cj and he flipped out on her. I apologized to Adam...hoping he could smooth things over later and he agreed that I should just stay away from him. It's not like I was seeking him out, the darn boat is only so big. I'm sorry. Oh well. I saw him once more on the boat: I was coming down the stairs and he was outside talking to Emili. He looked in the window and saw me and turned around and punched the air. After getting off the boat, I saw Adam again as we were checking out pictures and he didn't have the money for his so I offered to buy it for him. cj saw me talking to Adam and gave us really dirty looks. I wish it wasn't this way. I wish I hadn't just wasted all these keystrokes on this bull.

So Liz left her purse (Coach, mind you) on a table under her pink sweater as we ran around the boat. We went to go check on her stuff later and her sweater was missing. Not the coach purse, not the cash, not the credit cards, but her sweater. We decided to keep an eye out for it and continue laughing at the idiot who would steal a sweater but not money (must've been a very cold thief). We were on the top floor when we spotted a couple and the girl was wearing the sweater. We all moved over to the railing next to them and giggled and tried to figure out if the sweater she was wearing was 3/4 length like Liz's. Indeed it was. So Jess (being the most drunk of all of us...) tried to get the girl's attention; she ignored us. We were trying to figure out what to do when I saw Mulligan. I was like "hey Mulligan, come here! we really need you." So Mulligan comes over and I explain the story to her and tell her she needs to figure out if this is Liz's sweater. So Mulligan gets her facts straight ("who's the girl with the sweater? Liz? You're Liz? Theresa's roommate? Who are you? And that's the girl right there?" etc). Mulligan walks over to the chick, physically turns her half around, punches her and starts pulling the sweater off. She hands it to Liz and asks if it's hers. It is. The girl starts explaining that she found the sweater on her chair and didn't want to just leave it, blah blah blah. It turns out Mulligan is good friends with the cold thief chick and that's why all the violence took place. We thought it was hilarious.

Finally, I was kinda pissed when a drunk Jess started lecturing to me about my relationship. Yes, I did kinda ask her what she thought of me and Nik but I expected a "you guys are cute" or something like that. She accused me of always needing a guy. She asked when the last time I didn't have a boyfriend was. I told her fall of freshmen year and she said "yeah, a whole two weeks." I don't know why I let her get to me, but I did. Maybe I'm just sensitive about my relationship. I know there are a lot of critics but I know that my heart doesn't care and I know I did the right thing. It's just hard to deal with...but I guess I'd rather have honest friends than not. I'm also glad she was drunk and didn't notice when I started talking to someone else in the middle of her rant.

The day after the last day of classes

Woo hoo! No more classes.

...too bad I screwed this semester up. Oh well, it was worth it...I hope.

sacrifices

Sometimes I feel as though I'm putting more in than he is. I don't think he realizes how much I hate using the back door when it's dark. I'm a tough girl because I came from a tough place...but being tough makes you more scared of things other people don't think about. I don't know why I allow myself to get so bothered and hurt by stupid little things that don't mean anything. I guess since I'm the one to make the walk to his house everyday I feel like I need him more than he needs me...and my personality doesn't allow me to be ok with that. I'm strong and independent...or so I like to think. I can never say no to him and maybe I should learn.
I was walking over here thinking awful things. When he wanted me to cuddle I would tell him that I was feeling too lazy to do what he wanted. But that's not productive.
I remember when I used to have these random handwritten fliers on the walls in my room to remind me of things I felt I needed to remember. My parents never liked them. They said things like "you can't change other people, you can only change yourself" in far-from-neat red permanent marker. I wish i remembered what the others said.
I want my super nintendo back.

It's good to be a Tri Delta

I'll be proud of us. I'll also let go of some of my anger and bitterness toward a certain fraternity...because karma has worked its ways and all is well with the world.

...and I'm a good luck charm. Hehehe, or at least I'll tell myself that.

Sitting in class

I'm bored. So the professor extended a deadline for homework 3 "indefinitely" about a week ago. Indefinitely means whenever...right? Anyway today in class he was like "everyone has homework 3 in, right? good." Darn. Darn darn darn. Oh well, I guess I actually have to finish tonight. I don't see how I can get in trouble for turning it in now when there was no actual deadline.
I need to go buy alcohol. It's Carnvial week darn it! Unfortunately I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow (for real this time!...and I hope I "accidentally" spit on my dentist...stupid jerk). I hope I'm not in so much pain or so high on wisdom-teeth drugs that I can't drink. Or maybe I hope that I am on happy wisdom-teeth drugs. Taking pills is a lot easier than swallowing lots of alcohol.

Booth

Ahh, the dilemma. I could work, hang out with Nik, or work on booth. Out of that list the only thing I don't want to do is the only thing I really ought to be doing. Darn CMU! What's really unfortunate is that I keep telling myself I'll work on booth right after I finish my work...too bad I'm a horrible procrastinator. At this rate I'll never get to midway. Sad face.

something to remember...

I found this quote in Paloma's facebook profile. It's something I should always remember so I'm never unhappy ever again.
"Never settle for anything less than mad, passionate and extraordinary love. There are too many mediocre things in life and love just shouldn't be one of them."

Update

So...I have been working...unfortunately I've been doing little actual writing. I spent some time at the library tonight feeling like I was doing work but maybe not. It was just comforting to get books that might somewhere have the words that need to be in my paper.
Status: 2 pages of outline done
10 pages of exam to write (by 9)
1 powerpoint presentation to create (by 12)
5-7 pages of "lessons learned" to write for PUI (by 3)

Advertising the blog....

So I've been thinking about whether or not I should let people know that I have a blog. It's not like I write anything interesting that people might want to read. At the same time, what's the point if no one is reading? At least one person is reading, and I guess that's what matters to me.

Ha, this may not be my last post tonight as I am procrastinating. This is a very bad idea considering I have to write 15 pages of BS in the next 17 hours.

Patrick, my first love

This puppy will always hold a special place in my heart. My high school sweetheart...I sometimes spent as many as 8 hours a day with him back in my high school days. Since I can't seem to add him to my Wish List (thanks Froogle...grrr) here he is...all 66"

Freak of the Week

Current themesong:
Freak of the Week by Marvelous 3
Forgive me for being a dumb girl and thanks for being so good to me when I'm not feeling like myself.

A quality conversation..

Theresa954: :{
Theresa954: I'm not actually sad...
Theresa954: I'm just pensive
o bel ange o: huh?
o bel ange o: well I'm glad you're not sad...but I'm confused.
Theresa954: haha
o bel ange o: short term memory + paloma = no memory.
Theresa954: I've been thinking about relationshipy stuff and it's getting to me
Theresa954: hahaha
Theresa954: it's cool
o bel ange o: ahhhh.
o bel ange o: oh dear. what's wrong/
Theresa954: this is coming out of nowhere
o bel ange o: ooh okay. that's fine.
Theresa954: nothing's wrong realy
Theresa954: Nik and I are fantastic
o bel ange o: i thought i had said something before and just completely forgot.
Theresa954: hahaha
o bel ange o: Well I'm glad. Relationshipy stuff in general or with someone in particular?
Theresa954: I do that
Theresa954: well, I kinda feel guilty that Nik and I are doing well
Theresa954: I've been thinking about Sara but more about cj
Theresa954: and thinking about those two can get to me after a while
o bel ange o: Well of course. It would anyone. Do you miss CJ? Or just feel bad.
Theresa954: I don't miss cj...I just feel bad
o bel ange o: I heard he was seeing someone. Any truth to that?
Theresa954: I was convinced I'd spend the rest of my life with him
Theresa954: I have no idea
Theresa954: he's married to someone on the facebook
o bel ange o: lol
o bel ange o: oh dear.
Theresa954: hahaha
o bel ange o: I understand. I dated someone for over 4 years. He was my best friend for 7 years before that. It was hard cause I had to make a change cause I was so young. Too young to be that serious. And it wasn't cause I didn' tlove him. Cause he's the reason why I want to have kids, but I just couldn't imagine me as being the person who could only imagine one future. You almost get stuck. Out of habit. Out of comfort and even out of love. And sometimes that's not enough for one person to be happy for a lifetime.
Theresa954: Yeah
o bel ange o: Change is mostly hard, but often healthy. No matter what kind of change. And even if it takes a long time to get to the place where you can see that and be happy with that. People are resiliant. And if you're happy. If Nik's happy then the others will follow suit cause they're likely to find a similar happiness along the way. Bitterness generally doesn't last long in decent people.
Theresa954: hehe
Theresa954: yeah
Theresa954: Well, I guess I'm still concerned that my relationship with Nik will only last as long as this school year
Theresa954: and perhaps I threw things away with cj for that
Theresa954: I don't regret it at all
Theresa954: but maybe I will later...
Theresa954: or maybe I won't
Theresa954: it's just a hard thing to deal with
Theresa954: I imagine that if Nik and I are still together at the end of the year that we'll try doing the long distance thing
Theresa954: it's just scary
Theresa954: we will have been dating for like 4 months
Theresa954: it seems like such a short time
Theresa954: but that's my head talking and not my heart
o bel ange o: Well then, you have your answer. You can't worry about the future all the time. It's enough pressure to be okay with what's happening now. Look at it this way, if you and CJ are meant to be together...this is just a bump in the road. If not...if you're like me and that boyfriend that I had so long ago...years from now you'll think of it as a lesson. or even as some insightful piece of personal history you can share with a friend like I'm doing with you. You and Nik may just survive. But if you don't, the relationship itself is an important part of who you are because it was a major learning experience and a transformation of sorts. You win either way.
Theresa954: Yeah, that's true
Theresa954: Unless I end up alone even after finding two amazing people
Theresa954: I feel like I'm being selfish, really
o bel ange o: Oh stop it. You'll never end up alone, T.
o bel ange o: That's just your insecurities talking.
o bel ange o: Why do you feel like you're being selfish.
o bel ange o: ?
Theresa954: It's so silly. Both of them always say all they want is to make me happy
o bel ange o: Haha. Yeah. They ALL say that.
Theresa954: haha, I know
Theresa954: but I know cj really focused a lot of his time on it
Theresa954: and I am lucky to have found both of them
Theresa954: but that makes me feel so selfish and guilty
Theresa954: why do I deserve this, you know?
o bel ange o: Exactly. Eh. You deserve it. Maybe not in the way you're thinking of right now. But this guy I used to date for like, a minute, after Dustin ( the 4 year one) and I broke up ( and I went on a dating rampage) told me that sometimes there are the kind of people out there who are never uniquely satisfied in relationships. They move around. They learn what they need to and move on. And its not necessarily a bad thing. You're just a wanderer of sorts. But one thing is for sure, you'll probably find more happiness and more love this way than anyone would in their lifetime....In essence, its a gift and a curse. You get to love a lot. That's never bad. But you gotta sacrifice a lot too. You just have to make sure you keep a balance that keeps you without regret.
o bel ange o: Regret is the killer.
Theresa954: Yeah, I always tell myself I don't regret things
Theresa954: and I rarely do
Theresa954: I don't want to be a wanderer
o bel ange o: Well look at it this way, you may leave some guys behind who are amazing in your travels, but imagine who the person who'll end up making you want to stay will be like.
Theresa954: It's just so weird to think that had cj asked me to marry him...even when we were having problems I would've said yes. Because despite everything I loved him and I knew it would be hard for a guy to top him in my life
Theresa954: maybe tridelt is getting to me
o bel ange o: Yeah.
o bel ange o: Tridelt has a tendency to do that.
Theresa954: Pearlma and I were taling about how we feel like everyone around us is all engaged and stuff
Theresa954: so we feel like if we don't have a diploma and ring by the time we leave we're failures
Theresa954: but that's totally not true
Theresa954: Your last comment is very tru
o bel ange o: I thought for a long time that what I needed was an education and tons of money so that I wouldn't have to be poor anymore and I could take care of my family and I could make my mom proud. I wanted to be that person who had that great glamourous sort of life. And after the past 4 years here...when I learned it would be really hard to near impossible to have a child or complications with pregnany...now all I want to have is kids and have a nice house and be a good mom. Your idea of the world changes alot. Maybe marriage is important to you. But maybe to someone else its paramount. *shrugs* People are different. Maybe they're really supposed to be together. My parents were high school sweethearts. But maybe they're where you were. And don't know the difference between real love that will last a lifetime and the kind of love that appears to be that way.
Theresa954: hmmm
Theresa954: Change in perspective is what scares me
o bel ange o: It should. It's a scary thing.
Theresa954: Because a few months ago I could never imagine myself being happy with someone other than cj
Theresa954: and now I don't even knwo what he did for spring break
o bel ange o: Well, its obvious that despite you're fear you still move ahead valiantly.
Theresa954: and it took me two years to figure out that I loved cj but couldn't be with him
o bel ange o: your fear
Theresa954: so no matter how happy I am in my relationship with Nik or whoever I feel like I'm going to have these benchmarks that won't allow me to completely happy until I pass them
Theresa954: if Nik and I are happy for the next year and a half, for example
Theresa954: I'll have to wait til that 2 year mark to tell myself that I really am happy and everything will be ok
o bel ange o: you want my brutally honest opinion, t?
o bel ange o: I think you think too much.
Theresa954: haha
Theresa954: I agree
Theresa954: so does Nik
o bel ange o: And I think in the end that might be your problem.
o bel ange o: Things happen. Things happened. It's okay. It happens to EVERYONE. Just go with it.
o bel ange o: And see what happens.
o bel ange o: No more Dawson's Creek type Psychoanalysis.
o bel ange o: That's the kind of thing that'll kill you.
o bel ange o: And I learned this from MUCH experience.
Theresa954: hmmm
Theresa954: you're right
o bel ange o: I know I'm right. I'm cool like that.
o bel ange o: jk.
Theresa954: I'm happy now...so I should just let myself be happy
o bel ange o: Yes. Or you'll never be happy.
o bel ange o: If that makes any sense.
o bel ange o: lol
Theresa954: hahah
o bel ange o: Take the obstacles as they come. You've got some amazing people around you who will help you. And you've got a more than good head on your shoulders.
o bel ange o: You'll be okay.
Theresa954: Yeah, I know...
Theresa954: ...I don't know why I let these things bother me so much
o bel ange o: You're a good person. Good people tend to be tortured.
o bel ange o: Cause they worry too much about other people.
o bel ange o: And because I think our generation has watched WAY too much fucking WB shows.
o bel ange o: It's a disease.
o bel ange o: Overthinkingitus.
Theresa954: hahaha
Theresa954: I never watched WB shows
Theresa954: hehe
o bel ange o: but the people around you did.
Theresa954: this is a product of my natural self
o bel ange o: and its airborne.
Theresa954: ahh, I see
o bel ange o: haha. notice how EVERYONE overthinks things.
o bel ange o: I don't think previous generations had this much of an epidemic.

Nik's profile

aivan i-kirjain palvelukseen halutaan jotta ajaa jotta olla avulla te, ja te peittää huovalla sama. ainoastaan kas noin we're erikseen ja ransuumaasta kajahtaa. te can't kuulua nyt kuluva, ainoastaan i-kirjain haluta te taaksepäin ja i'll ajaa jokin jotta ehtiä se esiintyä.