sacrifices

Sometimes I feel as though I'm putting more in than he is. I don't think he realizes how much I hate using the back door when it's dark. I'm a tough girl because I came from a tough place...but being tough makes you more scared of things other people don't think about. I don't know why I allow myself to get so bothered and hurt by stupid little things that don't mean anything. I guess since I'm the one to make the walk to his house everyday I feel like I need him more than he needs me...and my personality doesn't allow me to be ok with that. I'm strong and independent...or so I like to think. I can never say no to him and maybe I should learn.
I was walking over here thinking awful things. When he wanted me to cuddle I would tell him that I was feeling too lazy to do what he wanted. But that's not productive.
I remember when I used to have these random handwritten fliers on the walls in my room to remind me of things I felt I needed to remember. My parents never liked them. They said things like "you can't change other people, you can only change yourself" in far-from-neat red permanent marker. I wish i remembered what the others said.
I want my super nintendo back.